'It's important to be thinking not just what they're going to gain but what they're going to lose,' says retirement expert Robert Laura
If you were to ask Robert Laura how the retirement system fares today, he believes retirement support and retirement planning needs a major realignment, one that puts the individual, not just the financials, at the center of the conversation.
The retirement expert and VSP Individual Vision Plans thought leader, argues that most people - specifically men - enter retirement the same way they enter other major life events, without truly knowing what’s ahead.
He emphasized that few recognize retirement as one of the most stressful life events, one that overlaps with multiple other major life changes. The cumulative effect, he explained, creates layers of stress most men are unprepared for.
“Whether you’re a parent for the first time or you’re getting married, you don’t know what 30 years later is going to look like. It’s the same for retirement,” he said. “A lot of guys are on autopilot until they get to retirement. They haven't really stopped and paused to think about all the different pieces that will affect them.”
Laura is frustrated that, despite decades of research in psychology, behavioral economics, and well-being, these models are rarely applied to retirement planning. He traces the problem back to the rise of the 401(k) in the mid-1980s, which shifted responsibility for retirement planning from employers to individuals. As a result, people now focus almost entirely on managing their money, often at the expense of their mental, emotional, and social health.
“We know how to help people with this. So why aren’t we doing it? We measure everything else. Why aren’t we measuring where people are at with retirement?” he said.
He challenged the common notion that retirement will automatically lead to happiness and freedom. Instead, he warns that physical decline can hit hard, especially if it’s ignored. While time and freedom may be among the gains, he says men must also account for what they stand to lose. Notably, routine, identity, social circles, and even certain benefits like vision insurance.
Failing to plan for these losses, he added, can have costly consequences on the retiree. Not just emotionally, but financially as well.
“It's important to be thinking not just what they’re going to gain but what they’re going to lose,” noted Laura. “Sometimes the best way [for plan members] to make money is to save money. That's obviously what vision or other plans can really help with.”
Laura asserted that helping plan members navigate retirement successfully requires more than just financial preparation. It also demands both a mindset shift and actionable steps. One of the most significant psychological hurdles for men, Laura explained, is "enmeshment", a deep attachment to work that meets many of their emotional and psychological needs. When the job ends, so does that sense of purpose, often leaving a void that's hard to fill.
This identity loss is compounded by the silence many retirees maintain. He pointed out that retirement is sold as life’s ultimate goal so when it falls short, men often feel ashamed to admit it. He doesn't shy away from the darker implications either as Laura shared that depression and suicide rates are disproportionately high among older men over the age of 65.
Despite the gravity of that reality, Laura often faces resistance when trying to bring it into corporate discussions. But he emphasized the focus on mental health should be essential.
Laura warns that declining health is inevitable with age and unlike money, it can't be recovered. He believes too many people enter retirement with a fantasy that doesn’t align with their physical reality.
“If [plan members] aren’t taking care of themselves, they’re not going to have a successful transition. They’re not going to enjoy time with the grandkids. There's a big difference between what I call time management and priority management. Most people are focused on managing their time, but not their priorities. A priority has to be your health,” said Laura.
For men, he sees a cultural obstacle: the ingrained belief that toughness means ignoring pain or pushing through it, he said of the “warrior mentality” that stops many from seeking care.
He also called out a narrow focus on financial health, urging retirees to broaden their awareness.
Laura underscored how even seemingly minor health problems can have outsized effects on retirees’ quality of life. While serious illnesses like cancer can be life-changing, he points out that more common issues like joint pain or hearing loss can also be deeply disruptive.
A sucessful retirement strategy
That’s why Laura believes employers and plan sponsors need to rethink how they prepare older workers for retirement, starting with education. He argues that it doesn’t have to be flashy or complicated. He recommends creating simple, practical workshops focused not just on finances, but on the psychological and health-related aspects of retirement, especially for employees 50 and older.
Laura also highlighted one of the most overlooked, yet critical components of a successful retirement is the strength of a retiree’s social network. Drawing on findings from the Harvard Longitudinal Study, he emphasized that the depth of a person’s relationships plays a key role in long-term happiness and well-being.
The challenge for many men is that most of their relationships are rooted in the workplace. When they leave the job, they lose not only their title but their primary source of social interaction and support, explained Laura. Without an intentional effort to rebuild those connections, isolation can quickly set in.
He urged plan sponsors and HR leaders to take a more proactive role, advocating for systems that help retirees maintain or build community, whether through monthly meetups or virtual programs.
“People are having a hard time finding tribes and communities outside of the workplace,” he said. “If you do offer that support, it’s a whole different ballgame.”
Ultimately, he believes the real question isn’t about portfolios or pensions but simply “the individual, the couple, the people. What can we do to help them?”
